Our Bible Study lesson last week was about the importance of faith. This week we dealt with having faith when we have "what ifs". You know, what if I lose my job; what if my child gets sick, what if I have cancer, what if ...
I asked what are some signs that we're trying to handle "what if" situations on our own without God. Kristi said when the situation is all we think about. It's constantly on our mind. I realized immediately that I needed to hear her answer because I had a what if situation that had possessed me. Obsessed is a good word to describe my state of mind this week.
Of course, I came home from Bible study and immediately repented to God and got back on track--NOT! I have wasted almost an entire week of my life. I did the bare minimum homeschooling, dishes washed, and fed my family, that's it. It has been the most unproductive week ever. I had been exercising every day-not this week. I didn't even spend much time being quiet with Jesus. My prayer time was more of a list than a communion.
I didn't even pray about this obsession until yesterday afternoon. I don't really understand... See I've given this to God before and well, I just don't understand how it comes back up. I didn't really care very much about the outcome, I just couldn't (wouldn't) function without knowing how this would turn out.
So this morning, having realized that I missed relying on God, again. I opened My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers to January 30 and found God's amazing grace. Mr. Chambers says:
God never speaks to us in startling ways,but in ways that are easy to misunderstand, and we say, "I wonder if that is God's voice?" Isaiah said that the Lord spake to him "with a strong hand," that is, by the pressure of circumstances. Nothing touches our lives but it is God Himself speaking. Do we discern His hand or only mere occurrence?
This week I only discerned mere occurrence. But check out what Mr. Chambers says in the next chapter...
Get into the habit of saying, "Speak, Lord," and life will become a romance. Every time circumstances press, say, "Speak, Lord"; make time to listen. Chastening is more than a means of discipline, it is meant to get me to the place of saying, "Speak, Lord." ...As we listen, our ear gets acute, and, like Jesus, we shall hear God all the time.
Chastening is more than a means of discipline!!! See, I was really annoyed that this issue had come up again. I didn't understand why in the world it would, after I really had given it to the Lord. He's teaching me to listen. How amazingly good of God to have this devotion for me on this day when I needed to hear it. It boggles my mind how Bible study, my life and this lesson all pulled together in His perfect timing. There can be no doubt--He loves me so very much and cares about all of the circumstances in my life. He was not waiting to condemn me, but to gently teach me.
He loves you just the same. He cares about whatever you are going through right now. He's waiting for you to ask, "Speak, Lord."
We're off to hear Micca Campbell tonight (Aunt Alice Faye, Mom, Sarah and I.) I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm also looking forward to meeting Gabriel Patrick! I sure hope he arrives in time for me to see him before I have to go tonight!