Flying high

I've never flown before last Wednesday. When I've gone to the airport to pick up or drop off family members, I've looked somewhat enviously at those who were flying. The very attractive women pulling their wheeled carry-on luggage wearing dressy shoes that click-clicked when they walked. Or very important looking businessmen typing desperately on their laptops, using every moment to accomplish their tasks. Or even those in jeans and tennis shoes casually reading a book or flipping through a magazine. They all belonged to a club that I wasn't invited to join--People who are important enough to fly. (That's not a real club, y'all.)

"Why," I asked my mom as we exited our small connector plane at the Atlanta, GA airport, "weren't any of those people (you know, the ones in the club) green?" Yes, I said green. In spite of taking Bonine before we left home, I didn't feel so good. The take off wasn't too bad, until the plane started to level off and my tummy dipped with the wings. During the hour and a half flight, I hardly moved because I didn't want to rock the plane--my sweet hubby found this fact hilarious!!! The landing...oye vey!... Why hadn't anyone warned me that the landing could cause me to feel soooo bad! Fortunately, none of the other plane experiences were traumatizing.

I learned how to get a seat to yourself, if your flight has empty seats nearby. I mentioned that I had taken Bonine,an anti-emetic for those who experience motion sickness. I don't ride well even in a car sometimes, on a boat-ugghhh! On the little plane, Mom and Dad sat across the aisle from me. I didn't know my seatmate, nor would I ever know my seatmate. You see, as soon as my bottom settled in the seat, Mom and Dad started searching the pocket on the back of the seat in front of them. They both hold up a "barf bag" and enthusiastically encourage me to look for and find mine. I did find one and placed it so I could quickly get it if necessary.

My seatmate frantically started scanning the plane. There were two empty seats three rows ahead of Mom and Dad. She said, "If no one else gets on this plane, I'm moving!" A few minutes later I heard her mutter, "I am so movin!" When the flight attendant got within a few rows of us seatmate asks, "Is this it?" The flight attendant nodded and my seatmate nearly knocked me in the floor trying to get out of our row.

My mom very confusedly asks, "Did you pinch her?"
"No, Mom, you told me to get a barf bag."

I had plenty of room.

In Memory

Ma'

Flying
______fast
__________jumping
_________________legs

Swirling
________away
____________seven year old's secret
___________________________________burdens

Altered
_______by
_________love
_____________arthritis
______________________alcohol

Stupid, stupid, stupid

Loved
_____unconditionally
____________________her boys
____________________________grandsons
_____________________________________granddaughter

Loved
_____to
_______dance
____________smoke
_________________have her own way

Lived
_____fully
__________for the moment
________________________for fun

Yesterday

Happy Mother's Day!

What?!? It isn't Mother's Day? I'm late?---Just kidding, I know Mother's Day is always on Sunday, but I was busy yesterday enjoying being a mom. I had a most magnificent day! Three sweet babies dedicated to the Lord at church, Gabriel, Brittain, and Kaylee. Their mamas and daddies were so proud. And the mamas were beautiful, truly they glowed. Obviously, they are very happy.

(Side note-- after the dedication my youngest leaned over and whispered, "Did you dedicate us, Mama?" Then last night my oldest boy asked, "Did you dedicate us?" I told them that I dedicated them to God from the moment I knew I was going to have a baby, but there wasn't a special dedication service. I don't think they were upset. Although, the youngest shook his head and muttered, "That's just wrong!")

After church, I took the boys to the beach for a picnic lunch, time at Fort Macon and to look for shells and sea critters. I don't like to go very far out in the ocean without my sweet hubby. I'm afraid I'll lose a child, so swimming wasn't on my agenda. The boys, however, wanted to swim very much.

God made a swimming pool for them. Really! I wish I had taken the camera so I could show you. The tide was way out, but up on the beach was the biggest tide pool I've ever seen. It was as long as a football field and about half as wide. The water was up to the boys' chests and shoulders. They played there for hours.

Several times, my youngest said, "I had so much fun!" "Thank you for taking us to the beach. It was fun!" Fun, fun, fun y'all! He also said, "This was the best Mother's Day ever!!!" I had fun, too!

My sweet hubby surprised me with a grill. We are havin' pork chops tonight!!!! I have missed having a grill!!!

I ended up the day with short visits with my mother in law and mom. I really missed my other mother in law yesterday-all last week, actually. I made her fudge recipe on Saturday in her memory. It's the first time I've fixed it and I didn't cook it long enough. It was grainy, but the flavor was good.

Incidentally, it was a good day to pray for our mothers, and grandmothers, for those who've lost their mothers and for those who wanted to be mothers, but weren't able to be. It's a good day to remember and thank God for all those women who have played a role and made a difference in my life.

Cheerfully, Completely, Immediately--Consistently

To obey is to do what you're told cheerfully, completely and immediately. This is what I've tried to teach my kids. I haven't taught it well.


My first problem is consistency. Somewhere along the way, the kids were doing well enough that I slacked up in my expectations and follow-through. The result is that little things that weren't ok, but weren't a "big" deal began to be part of our lives. The "humphs" and angry eyebrows turned into slightly more emphatic footsteps that grew into outright stomps.

Suddenly, I'm aware of wrong behavior, but instead of being sad. I was angry. How dare they act like this?--without even realizing that I've allowed this behavior. How dare they interrupt my day with this foolishness?

The other problem is that I don't model cheerfully, completely and immediately very well.

Cheerfully? When confronted with a task that I don't want to do (like disciplining my sweet angels) I am not particularly cheerful. In fact, I can be downright unpleasant.

Immediately? It's more like, at the last possible minute. The more unpleasant a task is the longer I put it off.

Completely? Often, it's just enough to get by.

I do not want to slide through my parenting or my life. I want to be consistently, cheerfully, completely and immediately faithful to my Lord, my husband and my kids.

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. Ephesians 6:7 & 8

Lay Down and Close Your Eyes

My oldest son couldn't sleep. He cried, "I'm just so tired, but I can't sleep."

"Yes, you can," I insisted. He got up and went to the bathroom again. The whining and moaning and crying continued. I loved on him (as much as he'd let me) and promised him that if he'd lay still and be quiet, he would fall asleep.



After leaving his room, I snuck back in because I figured he was probably sitting up instead of laying down. Sure enough, his grumpy little face was propped up on his elbow. It was time for sterner tactics. "Lay down and close your eyes," I said very firmly. "I can't sleep," he huffed. Frustrated but determined I said, "I didn't ask you to go to sleep. I asked you to lay down and close your eyes."



He did, and I wandered back to the computer to play Chuzzle some more while I waited for sleep to come to my son so I could go to bed. I wondered, "How many times has God said that to me and I whined just like my son?"



I didn't ask you to write a book, just a blog entry. I didn't ask you to feed 5,000, just a sick neighbor. I didn't ask you to die for your children, just to teach them of me. I didn't ask you to ....



That's what it's all about. Following God one step at a time. Being close enough to Him every single day to know what it is that He's asking of me.



Is there something you've been trying to do all in your own strength, all at one time? What is He asking you to do? Whatever it is, He will equip you to do it!

By the way, my sweet boy fell asleep just a very short time after he laid down and closed his eyes. Mama really did know what she was talking about. So does our heavenly Father.

He Heals; She Speaks

My mom has thought for a long time that I should be a writer. I thought, "Well, I love to read. I love to journal. I'd like to make some money. Maybe..." I went to a homeschool conference where Marybeth Whalen did a session called So You Want to be a Writer. That may not have been the exact title, but it's close. She said two things that day that stuck with me. One of those things was that her book For the Write Reason was being sold by a particular vendor. The other was that whatever it was that we really didn't want to talk about, that might be the very story God was calling us to write.

I bought the book. I've read it from cover to cover many times. One of the authors in the book was also a speaker, and she talked about speaking too. I realized that I much prefer speaking to writing. Speaking and teaching are talents that God has given me, and I tremendously enjoy. That's a really spiritual sounding way to say that I'm a drama queen.

Marybeth's other statement, the one about sharing our story. The one that's hidden and painful. I just looked at God and said, "Unh-Unh. No way. No how. It's done. You've healed me. That skeleton belongs in the closet, and it's staying there."

I followed Marybeth's blog off and on for a couple of years. Through her blog I was introduced to Proverbs 31 Ministries. It was also through her blog that I heard about She Speaks.

My attendance in 2008 at She Speaks was nothing short of a God thing. First of all, I mentioned it to my husband very casually. He said, "Why don't you go?" I said, "Well, because I'm not sure that God really is calling me to write or speak. I'd hate to go and spend mumble-mumble dollars if that isn't even what God wants me to do." See, my husband is known for being frugal. (That's a nice way of saying: He's so tight when he opens his wallet, it squeals.) We're a single income family. I told him I wasn't even sure if I'd follow through on writing or speaking. I knew he'd never want me to go. Plus he'd have the kids for the whole weekend. He said, "I think you should go." I was in shock!

I hooked up to the internet, and found that the conference was full. I was disappointed, but not terribly so. Obviously, being this was not God's will for me. Then I got the email that said there were more spots. Did I still want to go? I signed up for the speakers track, but also chose some writers track sessions. God confirmed His call for me to speak. But that was not what the weekend was all about for me.

As I prepared my material for the speakers track, God asked me to pull my skeleton out of the closet. I was not happy. I considered staying home. I went and shared 3 minutes of my testimony. Truly, when I opened my mouth to sing the first two lines of Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places (singing is NOT my gift) it was an act of faith. God pulled the voice from my lungs. I could not have made the first sound by myself. When I was done, I shook so hard I thought my notecards were going to fly out of my hand.

Presenting a five minute teaching was not nearly as painful or difficult. At the end of our presentations, Luann Prater, our Proverbs 31 leader shared part of her story. Our stories were so very similar. I couldn't believe that God had chosen that group leader for me. Turns out that not only are our stories similar, but Luann dresses up and does "the woman at the well." Drama is my thing. Becoming a Bible character is my favorite way to tell a Bible story.

I went downstairs feeling like I'd been kissed by God. After Renee Swope spoke about living in the shadow of the cross. I was broken. Broken by God. I wrote down those things from my past that still had hold of me. With tears pouring down my face, I joined so many others who were laying down their own hurts. Luann met me halfway, hugged me and whispered that she was so proud of me. She was the arms of Jesus that night.

My call to speak was confirmed, but the most important thing was that Jesus healed wounds that I'd long ago buried.

In the past year, I've shared my story a little at the time and I've found that there are many women who bear similar scars. They don't see themselves the way Jesus sees them. I've spoken a couple of times for church services. I shared the story of the sinful woman who annointed Jesus' feet and my story with our small group at the fall beach retreat. I've started this blog. I also wrote, am directing, and performing in our church's Easter program.

I have dreams of sharing Jesus with women wherever and whenever He allows. I also dream of sharing Him with women and girls in prison/juvenile detention facilities. When I return to She Speaks, I will focus on: where I go from here and strengthening my speaking skills. I look forward, also, to being a blessing to someone else.

If you have any desire to write, speak, lead women's ministry or improve your blogging I highly recommend the She Speaks Conference. I was honored to have been in the company of so many of God's women, all striving to serve Him more.
Lysa Terkeurst is sponsoring a scholarship at her blog. To enter, check this out.

Green stuff

Why is it that one of my children doesn't eat green stuff? Except skittles, m&m's, etc.... Nothing that can be grown in dirt. NO VEGETABLES!!! Except french fries, and I'm pretty sure they don't have any nutritional value.

Yet, that child is one of the two who were drinking water out of my mom and dad's ditch. Water that has green stuff floating in and on it. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Some things just make no sense!